Introduction to the Interview with Betty Sunshine
Hey there, fashion enthusiasts! 🌟 Today, we’re thrilled to introduce you to Betty Sunshine, a remarkable individual whose Betty Sunshine’s Crossdressing Journey is nothing short of inspiring. In this exclusive interview, Betty opens up about her early experiences, the evolution of her fashion choices, and the incredible support she’s found along the way. Whether you’re curious about crossdressing or seeking inspiration for your own fashion journey, Betty’s story is filled with insights and heartfelt advice. Join us as we delve into the world of Betty Sunshine!
Introduction to Crossdressing:
Can you tell us a little about yourself and how you first discovered your interest in crossdressing?
To be honest, I have no memories here at all. It was completely innocent. I wore my mom’s tights when I was a little boy and I had no idea why. I’ve always loved her shoes too. At first, they were way too big, then they fit for a short time, and then my feet got way too big and I probably caused serious damage to her shoes.
Personal Journey:
What was your first experience with crossdressing like, and how did it make you feel?
As I said, it started very early for me. That’s why it mostly took place in my childhood bedroom. I painted my nails with watercolors and wore tights. And if I was really brave, I would take my mother’s shoes into my room. But I was always terribly afraid of getting caught.
Inspiration and Influences:
Who or what has been your biggest inspiration in your crossdressing journey?
There were no outside influences. At least none that I can understand from today’s perspective. So in my opinion, it just came from me. But I also had no reference points at all. No internet, no scene, nothing.
Well, the first public figure was Lilo Wanders. She had a TV show at the time. I didn’t think the show was particularly good, but Lilo Wanders was of course an interesting person for me. Olivia Jones came along later. But somehow that wasn’t really my style. Drag is visually very different from what I like as a woman.
Fashion Choices:
How do you choose your outfits, and what are some of your favorite pieces to wear?
My fashion selection in the beginning was, from my perspective today, catastrophic. Very extreme in the direction of fetish, latex, and leather. The heels couldn’t be high enough and the skirts not short enough.
I think I am partly influenced by current trends. After initially having a strong inclination towards fetish clothing, it then changed into an imitation of femininity that was as natural and inconspicuous as possible. The clothes were almost a bit conservative at times. At the moment, I feel relatively safe when I go out and I like to exaggerate a bit. I also like to wear a glittery evening dress on completely inappropriate occasions and really let it rip.
Makeup Tips:
Do you have any makeup tips or favorite products that you swear by for achieving your look?
I got my make-up tips from the internet. I think I can still learn the most from that. What is particularly important to me is covering my beard and applying make-up to the contours. I don’t have a particularly feminine face, but the orange foundation really helps the beard disappear and applying make-up to the contours brings out a lot of femininity in my face.
I don’t really have any favorite products. And to be honest, I’m still looking for improvements here. I’ve had good experiences with Kryolan and camouflage make-up. You just have to be careful not to apply it too thickly.
Challenges and Triumphs:
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced as a crossdresser, and how have you overcome them?
The biggest challenge was definitely being open about it. Despite having a great circle of friends, I didn’t dare tell them about my passion. This was partly because I couldn’t express my crossdressing in my previous relationship at all. As a father of three children, I told their mother much too late, and she couldn’t handle it, making the situation extremely difficult. We eventually split up for what felt like a thousand reasons, with crossdressing being one of them.
Thankfully, I didn’t make the same mistake with my new partner. I told her about it from the start, and she reacted incredibly well. She gave me the self-confidence I needed to go out in public. In the end, her support and standing by me were key to being open about it with my friends. Since then, I’ve appreciated my friends even more because they handled the situation so fantastically, far exceeding my expectations.
Public Perception:
How do you handle public perception and reactions when you are crossdressed?
I’ve had extremely positive experiences in public. Standing at 1.93m, it’s hard for me to go unnoticed. I believe that appearance greatly influences acceptance in public spaces. Unfortunately, this often overshadows the fact that motivation and effort are equally important, regardless of one’s skill in making a change. It seems our society still has a long way to go and might be heading in the wrong direction at the moment.
Support System:
Who are the key people in your life who support your crossdressing, and how do they contribute to your journey?
The key people were clearly my new partner and my friend Connie. I met Connie on my first trip to Frankfurt in 2017. And even though we didn’t see each other for almost four years, we stayed in touch. When I was ready, she introduced me so warmly to her contacts and friends, and I finally had people I could get to know as a woman. The fear of rejection and discovery prevented me from making contacts myself for years.
Online Community:
How has being part of the online crossdressing community helped you, and what role does it play in your life?
The online community has, of course, played a big role and was the only outlet for years. You can complain about the internet and demonize social media, but in the days before the internet, I felt very alone with my passion for crossdressing. And to be honest, I didn’t have a name for it at all. I thought I was disturbed and sick and unfortunately didn’t dare to confide in anyone. The 80s and 90s weren’t that easy.
Confidence Building:
What advice would you give to someone struggling with confidence in their crossdressing?
I have an online acquaintance who I’m currently trying to give some self-confidence to, but he doesn’t even dare to order women’s clothing online because he thinks the postman might notice something. What helps is knowing that you are one of many. There are so many people who feel exactly the same as we do. That might not help you in your job or in everyday life, but it feels good. But for your first steps in public, CSD events or theme parties might be a good idea. And once I’m sitting in my favorite bar, I’m usually in an environment that makes me feel safe. Even if I don’t know anyone there. I’ve only had positive experiences here. Maybe you shouldn’t overwhelm the public so much right away. Latex and leather go everywhere.
Style Evolution:
How has your style evolved over the years, and what influences these changes?
There is a very clear development. At first, it was very exaggerated towards fetish and then, with the desire to go out more in public, it changed into normal clothing. As I said, I wanted everything here, but not to stand out. Now I try to be much more colorful and I enjoy standing out a little. Sexy and elegant is the balancing act I try to strike. Now I just have to be careful not to overdo it. I am 50 now and sometimes dress as if I were 19.
Gender Identity:
How does crossdressing relate to your understanding of gender identity?
From my experience with other crossdressers, I know that there is no single category that defines us. While crossdressers are typically heterosexual and drag queens are usually gay, that’s where the generalizations end. Some crossdressers completely change their sexual orientation when they take on the role of a woman, while others are open to anything. I try to remain myself as much as possible, loving my partner and not being interested in men. Reflecting on my identity, I see myself as 80% man and 20% woman. A few years ago, I would have denied this, admitting to being at most 5% woman. Maybe it’s even 25%. Who knows for sure? But I can’t imagine life as a man without crossdressing; I enjoy it too much.
My sex life with my partner is exclusively as a man, which was her wish and one I absolutely respect. She grants me so much freedom in my crossdressing passion that I feel like I’ve won the lottery.
Balancing Roles:
How do you balance your crossdressed identity with your everyday life and responsibilities?
I have completely separated this aspect from my everyday professional life. As a police officer, combining the two is not really feasible. Additionally, I fulfill my family obligations solely as a man. My siblings and children know about it, but I don’t want to celebrate Christmas with them dressed as a woman or anything like that. It’s different with my friends. I also like to go out with them as a woman, and so far, no one has asked me to stop doing that. And if I come back to the topic of work, I sometimes work from home, and I can walk around as I please.
Fashion Icons:
Who are some of your fashion icons, and how do they inspire your looks?
I think I’m completely open to this topic. There is no one I particularly like. I’m sure I like the same people over and over again, but to be honest, I often can’t place the names at all.
Event Experiences:
Have you attended any crossdressing or LGBTQ+ events, and what were those experiences like?
In 2021, I dared to go to the CSD in Wiesbaden for the first time. But actually, I almost tried to hide here and was very inhibited. And that wouldn’t have been necessary at all. After all, you are in such an open and liberal society here. Where should I be like that if not there?
Wiesbaden is not far from me, and there is a “Let’s go Queer” party series here. I really like going there too. Positive people who just want to party, and you can be whoever you want to be. In 2024, the CSD was pure relaxation for me for the first time – I finally had enough self-confidence and the associated experiences to feel safe and really enjoy going out as a woman.
Cultural Perspectives:
How do you think cultural perceptions of crossdressing have changed over the years?
I think the drag scene has made a big difference for us crossdressers. In my opinion, drag and crossdressing have almost nothing to do with each other in terms of the motivation of those who perform it, but in terms of external impact, the difference is neither known nor relevant for many. Acceptance has increased significantly thanks to television shows and social media. I don’t notice the opposite trend in my personal environment, but unfortunately, the reporting on anti-queer attacks tells a different story.
Future Aspirations:
What are your future aspirations in terms of crossdressing? Are there any new styles or experiences you want to explore?
To be honest, feeling beautiful and feminine is my future wish. I live a very happy life as a man, but when styled as a woman, I embrace that aspect of myself. While it feels nice for me, the positive feedback from others is also uplifting. Although I can’t speak about styles or future experiences at the moment, my goal is to educate and promote tolerance. I want everyone important to me to know about my crossdressing, aiming to normalize it in my environment, not just for myself.
On the one hand, I have the life of an old white cis man, and on the other hand, I am a crossdresser with a gender star, which is a uniquely German issue that might not translate well. Over the past few years, I’ve learned a lot about real tolerance by experiencing it from others. This often lacking tolerance can be applied to all marginalized groups. It is important to me to transfer these positive experiences to other situations in life and to pass them on. For instance, if someone introduces themselves as a woman, I don’t ask intrusive questions; I just accept it. Similarly, if I meet someone who doesn’t look stereotypically German and they say they are from Berlin, I focus on their district rather than where their parents or grandparents are from.
Personal Impact:
How has crossdressing impacted your personal life, both positively and negatively?
I have to answer this question in two parts. For most of my life, crossdressing had a negative impact. I was alone with it and almost felt sick and wanted to get rid of it at all costs. It was only through being open and having the right people in my life that I got to the point where I can see it as an enrichment. I am probably largely to blame for everything myself. If I had been open early on, I could have saved myself a lot and probably created the right environment much earlier. I am now responsible for my own happiness, but I understand everyone who has problems breaking through this barrier. I can only advise everyone to do it. We all only have one life to be happy and the right person doesn’t matter what you feel like or what clothes you wear.
Favorite Outfits:
Can you describe one of your favorite outfits and why it holds special meaning for you?
I think I would answer this question differently every week. High heels are very important to me, and I have way too many of them. I love off-the-shoulder. I don’t mind having too big breasts. Short skirts and elegant evening dresses. I think anyone who looks at my Instagram page will get a good idea of my preferences.
Message to the Community:
What message would you like to share with other crossdressers and those who are curious about crossdressing?
Be brave. Get help and look for like-minded people. Look for safe spaces like #transnormal in Frankfurt. Experience it and find your own pace to integrate crossdressing into your life. The desire to feel, see, and experience yourself as a woman does not disappear. It comes back in waves and it grabs you again and again. Learn to live with it and you will also learn to love it. Stand up for yourself, then you will find someone who will stand by you. Be honest from the start with people who are important to you. If you are important to them too, then you will not lose them. But don’t overwhelm those around you. Here too, everyone has their own pace and everyone has limits that they cannot overcome. So talk, talk, talk. With friends, family, and, most importantly, with your partner.
Key Points from Interview with Betty Sunshine on Fashion Slide
- Betty discovered crossdressing innocently as a child by wearing her mother’s tights and shoes.
- Crossdressing started in childhood, mainly in her bedroom, where she experimented with nails and tights.
- Influences include Lilo Wanders and Olivia Jones, though Betty’s style differs from drag.
- Evolved from fetish to more natural and sometimes conservative looks.
- Learned from the internet, focusing on beard coverage and contouring.
- Faced difficulties being open about crossdressing, improved with supportive partner and friends.
- Generally positive experiences despite being conspicuous due to height.
- Key supporters include her partner and a friend, Connie.
- Crucial for support, especially before the internet era.
- Encourages finding like-minded people and safe spaces.
- Transitioned from fetish to a balance of sexy and elegant.
- Sees herself as 80% man and 20% woman, emphasizing tolerance and acceptance.
- Focuses on feeling beautiful and promoting tolerance.
- Initially negative, now positive with openness and supportive community.
- Preferences include high heels, off-the-shoulder tops, and elegant evening dresses.
- Encourages bravery, finding support, and honest communication.
For more inspiring stories from other cross-dressers like Cindy and Shannon
Betty Sunshine’s journey into crossdressing is a testament to self-discovery, resilience, and the pursuit of authenticity. From her early experiments in her childhood bedroom to embracing her identity with confidence and grace, Betty’s story is one of growth and acceptance. She highlights the importance of a supportive community, the evolution of personal style, and the continuous journey toward self-acceptance. Her message of bravery, openness, and fostering tolerance resonates as a powerful call to others on similar paths. Betty Sunshine’s experiences remind us of the beauty in being true to oneself.
